Thursday, July 31, 2014

Session 3: The Machine (The End of Chaos)

And Chaos always ends the same way.

When the pranks become too much for camp to handle, the chaos expert Dr. Husqavarna (who I still insist does more harm than good), brings in his terrible Chaos Machine, the thing all counselors fear, to purge all signs of Chaos from the camp.

Eight counselors are tried for the most egregious Chaos Crimes against the Camp, and those eight must go through Dr. Husqvarana's Machine as penance and as means to rid the camp of Chaos just in time for the end of the week.

Are you asking yourself what The Machine is? If you are, you'll probably wish you hadn't. The bane of a Counselors existence, The Machine is eight long stations of mud, milk, paint, ice creams, eggs, cake mix, apologies, toilet paper, water, and tusaamiis (not a spelling error). 

More descriptions won't help. You need to see The Machine to believe. Bring on the pictures. 

The Doctor begins the trial to find which poor unfortunate staff members will be punished for the Chaos deeds of the camp.

And his mom came to help! She taught the Doctor everything she knows.

What a special lady.

The machine is prepared.

The last clean moment. (Why are they punishing this guy! All he did was try to stop the Chaos. Injustice at it's purest.)

It begins. The human mural.
Don't be scared Matty! (Kidding. Be very very scared, Matty.)

This station was called "Get Milked!" What could that mean.

Oh. That's what that could mean. Gross.

Mud hunt.
A human birthday cake. (Which human is hard to tell...)

This is what's it's like to be caught in a Tusaamii. In a word, it's chaos.

The dreaded ice cream sundae. The crowning jewel of the chaos machine.

How's Hannah doing? Hannah is doing a-ok.

She's even got a snack on her face when she walks away.

The Majestic Jasper has never looked better.

Self Explanatory.

Why Chaos?! Why!?

If I didn't know better, I'd think she's enjoyed this...
For the final phase, all the convicts are loaded on to a dock...
Hauled out into the middle of the lake...

And cleansed in the waters of Shawanii.

As the camp cheers on.





And Jump!!!!

When all are washed, the Machine is finished and the Chaos is gone.

 We then celebrate the restoration of sanity and return of camp as it should be with the Dinner Extravanganza, Closing Campfire, Honor Ceremony, and Camp Dance.

All is well. Safely Rest. Chaos is done.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Session 3: The Chaos (During the Chaos)

Once a Summer, in the middle of the season, Chaos inevitably arrives at Camp.

At our opening campfire this year, I promised that the chaos would be completely contained in 2014. Now pranks, no hi-jinks, no unpredictability. 

This summer Chaos would simply be C.H.A.O.S (Calm, Hazard-less, Always Orderly, Serene.)

Guess how long that lasted.

Counselors dressed as other Counselors!

Counselors on Crutches!
Counselors renaming Camp after themselves!
Brooms with Faces!

Cars on the Flagstones!
Scientifically Exact Replica Solar Systems!

Early morning Chaos.
Well, those notes are foreboding. And not entirely accurate.

I hope these signs...

....Don't have any relation to these signs

And these campers are surely trying to stop the Halloween Chaos at the Office...

And not adding to it? Right? Right!!?

A DMZ Wall between the Boys and Girls Side of Camp!

This is not what the front of the Dining Hall is supposed to look like.

This is not how flag raising is supposed to go!

There should not be flamingos at the water front!

That better be a flag up that flag pole!

Yup. Wouldn't be Chaos week with things that are not flags up the flagpole.

Oh no. Who's sleeping on the lake in a classic summer camp reference.

Camp Director Jim! That's not where you sleep.

His alarm clock went off. Then he threw it in the lake. Really.

Oh, a bathrobe and a canoe. Maybe this morning won't be so bad after all.

Scratch that. A dip in the lake beats a cup of coffee though. (Kidding. Nothing beats a cup of coffee.)

Plastic wrapped cabins!
Girls braiding each others hair!

Oh, never-mind, that one's not chaotic, just adorable.

But where are the table legs!?
Where are the chairs!?

Lesson learned. Table legs and chairs are completely unnecessary for a pleasant camp breakfast.

And finally, once all the ruckus and madness was more than we could handle, we called in the Doctor Husqavarna (with his degree in Chaos-ology) to solve it all with his terrible Chaos Machine...