The seventh installment of our 17ish part series:
Meet the Summer Staff of 2015!
"THE MAJESTIC" JASPER ANDREW
(* editors note. I couldn't choose. I had to include both these pictures.)
ARTS AND CRAFTS COUNSELOR
*At this point in the interview, Jasper messes up a bunch of stuff, and misses several of the first questions. What a dope. He should be fired immediately.*
[Jasper’s Note: Just to be clear, that was joke. Please don’t fire me. Also, I may have edited a few things to make everyone sound like somewhat eloquent English speakers. Trust me, it’s better this way.]
Jasper: Let’s see… Ahem… Okay, so, tell the story again. Alissa (CUTTER) was talking to the cabin, and she fell off the chair…?
Mechu: Yeah, she fell off the chair, and then everybody started laughing. Somebody else fell to the ground, somebody dropped their flashlight, and then the supervisors came and kinda told us to quiet down.
J: Awesome. Yeah, Alissa’s fun. Okay… Hmm… Ben said we could ask anything, so…
M: Oh, no… *Nervous laughter* Alright…
J: Okay. If you could give a dinosaur juice, what kind of juice would you give it?
J: Juice. Any flavor of juice.
M: Hmm… I’m really into Peach Mango Orange juice right now, which I’d be fine with sharing. And I think it would be healthy, you know, give ‘em a little fruit ‘n’ veggie.
J: Cool. Peach Mango Orange. Nice.
M: Yeah. It’s good.
J: How long have you been doing camp stuff?
M: Uhh… It started probably when I was around eight or nine. I didn’t really go to this camp ‘til about 2007, so I was… that would be… eight years ago… eleven!
J: Alright, that’s a long time. Have you been planning to become a camp counselor for a while?
M: Ever since the second week that I went to camp. So yeah, a bit.
J: So, since you were eight years old?
M: Yeah, all of my aunts and uncles have been counselors since they were younger, so it’s been something that I’ve always wanted to do, too.
J: Great, cool! And the Frog Song is your favorite song?
J: Let’s see… Do you have a favorite course area that you are looking forward to teaching, or that you enjoy participating in?
M: I think I’ve actually always done a lot of EE stuff, but now that I’m in Arts and Crafts I think that’s going to be super fun, cause I’m always, like, making things, and you know, teaching how to do stuff.
J: Great! I’ll be there, too.
M: Woohoo… [Jasper’s Note: This was the most unenthusiastic exclamation I’ve ever encountered. It’s almost as if she was not completely ecstatic to be working alongside me. Inconceivable!]
J: What’s your favorite animal?
M: *With no pause at all* Manatee.
M: I love manatees so much. When I was little I adopted one, and I named it Suzy. Suzy the manatee.
J: Okay, awesome. I’d say that’s a pretty original answer, as far as animals go.
M: It’s the best animal! All they do is float around and eat grass. They don’t do anything. I love it!
J: Aren’t they weird-looking?
M: No. They are mermaids, and they’re beautiful.
J: Would you be excited if there was a manatee in Lake Shawanni?
M: Oh, I would die. I went to Florida a couple weeks ago, and they had a manatee tank, and I stood in front of the tank for about two hours, just looking at the manatees. I love manatees. I really do. I dreamed when I was little that I would buy one and put it in my pool so I could ride it around. I really like manatees.
J: I think I saw some manatees at the Atlanta Aquarium. It was weird, they would swim up to the glass, and, like, rub their stomachs on the glass, and it was all squishy. It was… interesting.
M: Yeah! I love ‘em!
J: Alrighty… Have you ever had an encounter with Velcro the Turtle?
M: Not yet, no. I almost did, but it turned out to be a really big fish that scared me. But, I mean, someday. It’s destined to be.
J: Yeah, I haven’t either. Which of the camp animals is your favorite?
M: I have been a beaver like ninety percent of the time, so I think I’m a bit biased cause I’m attached to it now. I was a hawk once, and it just felt wrong. So wrong.
J: What was your favorite EE class?
M: Outdoor cooking. Without a doubt.
J: That’s a popular one, for sure.
M: Oh, yeah. I got to do it twice as a volunteer last time, and it was great. Double the food.
J: What is your favorite thing to cook in outdoor cooking, or otherwise?
M: I cannot cook. Oh, no… What’s my favorite thing to cook, though? I don’t know… I can’t cook it, but my mom makes the best crepes ever, with Nutella inside.
J: Crepes are awesome.
M: They’re the best thing to ever exist.
J: We’ve had French exchange students come over for summers at our house in California, and once they made crepes for us. So, that was pretty cool. They put sugar in them. Just straight sugar. It’s weird, but it was good, so yeah.
M: I went to France last summer, and that’s literally all I ate. I didn’t tell my mom, but it was straight Nutella crepes every day. Fantastic.
J: What’s your favorite camp meal?
M: Hmm… I think one of my favorites, even though I have this hatred towards cheese, is the grilled cheese sandwiches, cause I love the soup. I chug that soup down.
J: The tomato soup?
M: Yeah! I don’t know why, but that soup, it’s just… I get so excited!
J: Huh. I’m pretty much the opposite of that. I don’t like the soup, but I’m a fan of cheese.
M: You can take the cheese, and I’ll take the soup.
J: Alright, it’s agreed. So you’re doing Arts and Crafts, right? What craft are you looking forward to teaching?
M: I’m really looking forward to the Junkyard Band.
J: That’s going to be cool.
M: Yeah, cause I’m a music major, so I’m really excited, because it’s what I love plus camp, which is just the epitome of everything good.
J: Do you play an instrument?
M: I play cello.
J: Cello, nice! Cool instrument. Pretty big.
M: Yeah, it’s my size.
J: When you were at camp, did you have a favorite cabin?
M: Uh, I was only put in 9, 10, and 11, but I really liked 9. It was in the perfect place, and it had a nice place to put your towels. I always liked that, cause they didn’t get wet when it rained, since there were enough trees there. And I always picked the same bed, the right corner bunk. Yeah, I miss it.
J: Do you think you’d like to be the counselor for Cabin 9?
M: Uh, yeah. That would be pretty cool.
J: Alright, last one. What’s your favorite joke?
M: What’s my favorite joke…
J: Gotta entertain the kids, so…
M: Ahem-hem… Why did the motorcycle pull to the side of the road?
M: He was two-tired!
J: …Oh no… The poor children…
M: I got so many more of those!
*To better preserve the readers’ brain cells, the transcriber has elected to terminate the transcription of this interview here. We hope you have enjoyed, and please remember: Never trust stairs. They’re always up to something.*