The fifteenth installment of our 17ish part series: Meet the Summer Staff of 2015!
T-NIVI "T-NIVI" T-NIVI
ADMINISTRATIVE SENIOR STAFF
----------INTERVIEWS----------
KUBA GORACZNIAK
ENVIRONMENTAL EDUCATION COUNSELOR
(***Editors Note: T-Nivi was even stranger than usual in his interview, but Kuba was a tremendous sport.)
TYLER: Hey there, Kuba. I'm excited to have you on staff this summer, and I can't wait for it to start. Let's get started, shall we?
Since my last interview, as you can well imagine, I've been hounded by the media to come out with another. My inevitable Pulitzer obliges me to at least follow up with a second even better interview. Please take some time now to cry with joy due to the fact that I have chosen you to be the subject of an interview that will undoubtedly garner a Nobel Prize.
First of all, let's establish that being a man of intellect, I shall conduct this interview in accordance.
1) Write me a haiku telling me what you will be doing at camp this summer.
KUBA: I’m not very good at poetry, but I think this is the best I can do on a Tuesday morning.
Soul and purpose lie
In this window so can I
Teach the kids camp stuff
2. You're leading a hike to Tillman's Ravine hiking at a rate of 5 miles per hour, but your slowest camper is lagging behind at a rate of 3.5 miles per hour. How long until that camper is exactly 1 mile apart from you? And what are you most excited about camp this summer?
KUBA: In 40 minutes the slowest camper will be one mile behind.
Here’s proof I did the math myself-->
(***EDITOR'S NOTE: Good math that I don't understand at all. However, the Camper would really be "NOT AT ALL BEHIND" because we don't leave campers behind on hikes ever, as we keep a comfortable pace for all...Tyler. Anyway. Continue.)
KUBA: I would say I am most excited about starting to teach the classes, and allow campers to try new things.
3) ¿Cuánto tiempo has estado viniendo al campamento?
KUBA: Since I was asked in Spanish, I will answer this question in 3 different languages.
Creo que por unos 8 años, tal vez 9.
Myślę, że za około 8 lat, może dziewięć.
I think for about 8 years, maybe 9.
4) A camper burned himself in outdoor cooking. What degree is the burn, most likely? And why did you decide to work at camp this year?
(***EDITOR'S NOTE - Campers literally never burn themselves in outdoor cooking. Like, never. I don't know what's wrong with T-Nivi.)
KUBA: First of all, a camper wouldn't burn himself on my watch. (***EDITOR'S NOTE - Yeah, Kuba! That's what we're talking about!) If somehow he did, I think it would be a first or second degree burn. (***EDITOR's NOTE: Once again, he really wouldn't.)
The reason why I want to work at camp this year is because ever since I was a camper I've always wanted to become a counselor, and this year I have the chance to achieve that. Also, since I volunteered at camp I wanted to do it again, but for 8 weeks instead of just one.
5) give me you're favorite camp Memory from the passed. (Fix the grammatical errors, and then respond.)
KUBA: Fixed version: Give me your favorite camp memory from the past.
I think my favorite camp memory would be the first time I caught a fish at camp. It was the first fish I ever caught in my life, and that moment made me want to come back year after year.
6) Camp is often viewed as a political mine field, likening the rivalry of the Republicans v. Democrats to Apple Crisp v. Freak Out. Pick a side in this battle of the desserts and explain.
KUBA: Freak out wins by a landslide, it’s a mixture of every dessert you love all mixed into one. Apple crisp is great and delicious, but in freak out you can get all you need in just one dessert.
7) Write out in standard C++ computer programming language a program that would ring the bell at the appropriate times. Or just tell me what your favorite classes were when you were a camper.
KUBA: I don’t know C++, but I have little knowledge in Java so I gave it a try.
Disclaimer: it probably doesn't work
For my favorite classes though, I always really enjoyed fishing. It was so peaceful and calm, and we could just fish for hours on end.
8) In what ways is Battle for the Island like the Battle of the Alamo? Or just tell me why Battle for the Island is so popular.
KUBA: Battle of the Islands is so popular because there is nothing like it. Just like the Battle of the Alamo, it’s the most intense thing anyone can experience. With a mix of offense and defense it is a game for everyone where anything can happen at anytime.
TYLER: Thank you for your time, Kuba. Your final grade will be mailed to you.
(***EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm pretty sure for answering that nonsense so seriously and expertly Kuba definitely earned an A+/100%/Highest Available Score on Whatever Bizarre System Tyler Nivison Grades On.)
(***EDITOR'S NOTE - Campers literally never burn themselves in outdoor cooking. Like, never. I don't know what's wrong with T-Nivi.)
KUBA: First of all, a camper wouldn't burn himself on my watch. (***EDITOR'S NOTE - Yeah, Kuba! That's what we're talking about!) If somehow he did, I think it would be a first or second degree burn. (***EDITOR's NOTE: Once again, he really wouldn't.)
The reason why I want to work at camp this year is because ever since I was a camper I've always wanted to become a counselor, and this year I have the chance to achieve that. Also, since I volunteered at camp I wanted to do it again, but for 8 weeks instead of just one.
5) give me you're favorite camp Memory from the passed. (Fix the grammatical errors, and then respond.)
KUBA: Fixed version: Give me your favorite camp memory from the past.
I think my favorite camp memory would be the first time I caught a fish at camp. It was the first fish I ever caught in my life, and that moment made me want to come back year after year.
6) Camp is often viewed as a political mine field, likening the rivalry of the Republicans v. Democrats to Apple Crisp v. Freak Out. Pick a side in this battle of the desserts and explain.
KUBA: Freak out wins by a landslide, it’s a mixture of every dessert you love all mixed into one. Apple crisp is great and delicious, but in freak out you can get all you need in just one dessert.
7) Write out in standard C++ computer programming language a program that would ring the bell at the appropriate times. Or just tell me what your favorite classes were when you were a camper.
KUBA: I don’t know C++, but I have little knowledge in Java so I gave it a try.
Disclaimer: it probably doesn't work
public class Timer {
public boolean isTime(int time, int bellTime) {
if (time == bellTime) {
return true;
} else {
return false;
}//end if and else
}//end isTime
public void main(String args[]) {
int time=7;
int bellTime=7;
if (isTime(time,bellTime)){
for (int i=0;i<5;i++){
System.out.
}//end for
}//end if
}//end main
}//end Timer
For my favorite classes though, I always really enjoyed fishing. It was so peaceful and calm, and we could just fish for hours on end.
8) In what ways is Battle for the Island like the Battle of the Alamo? Or just tell me why Battle for the Island is so popular.
KUBA: Battle of the Islands is so popular because there is nothing like it. Just like the Battle of the Alamo, it’s the most intense thing anyone can experience. With a mix of offense and defense it is a game for everyone where anything can happen at anytime.
TYLER: Thank you for your time, Kuba. Your final grade will be mailed to you.
(***EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm pretty sure for answering that nonsense so seriously and expertly Kuba definitely earned an A+/100%/Highest Available Score on Whatever Bizarre System Tyler Nivison Grades On.)
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